The only way to know who you are is to enquire within. The only way to change your behavior is to understand yourself. The only way to understand yourself is to to self-enquire. Why do I use the word “enquire” as opposed to “inquire?” Denver Frederik is suggesting the best leaders are ones who “radically self-inquire.” Historically the word “inquire” has meant to “ask,” while the word “enquire” has meant to “explore.”

Radical self-enquiry is an “exploration” of thought, words, actions, motives, biases, prejudices, influences, and unconscious pre-dispositions. It is not just an “ask.” It is a targeted and directed…

Grief, defined by Merriam Webster, is described as

  • anguish-extreme pain, distress, or anxiety
  • affliction-a cause of persistent pain or distress
  • dolefulness-a state or spell of low spirits
  • dolor-mental suffering or anguish
  • heartache-anguish of mind
  • heartbreak-crushing grief, anguish, or distress
  • sorriness-deep sadness for the loss of someone or something loved
  • sorrow-deep sadness or mental pain
  • woe-sorrow or distress

Some people experience life-long grief, especially when loss of a trusted adult to parent is not available.

Grief is a result of unhealthy attachments. …

Masculine and Feminine

Krshna and Radha the representation of the masculine and feminine of “GOD.”

Rama and Sita, said to be early devotees of spiritual principles that transcend survival.

Abraham and Sarai bore a son late in life, Sarai was said to be “Mother of Nations.”

Buddha and Yashodhara, rather than take his wife on his transcendent journey, he left her with child and family. Patriarchy had set in via Hinduism so this would be a common path.

Jesus and Mary of Magdalena, the “church” sees this couple as a threat to their patriarchal existence. …

In relationships, your intention is not what matters in doing and not doing something. If you or someone you are in a relationship with continues to do something you or the other person perceives as hurtful, then you are in a toxic relationship.

An intention can not be seen or meted out by another person. An intention is personal. Another person can only perceive what you do or do not do.

You may recognize a hurt another person perceives as a distorted perception, but it is, never-the-less, a perception. It is not about being right or wrong. The fact that…

Zoom Pro is a HIPAA compliant tool to use for teletherapy. It is a great tool costing $2000 per year, it allows you to present information using various document clouds, including #googledrive and it will design your face to look healthy if you need that.

It is important to get up in the morning, attend to your daily routine, dress as if you are at work, and use your therapy skills despite the fact that you are not face to face with your client.

Be clear your client is defined. For example, if your client is a wife of a…

As a person in the profession of counseling, I can tell you that I came to it from my brokenness.

As I have grown through the years, I have sorted the helpful from the unhelpful advice people have freely, and for profit, given to me.

I have come from a place of innocence through ignorance to insight, understanding, knowledge, and awareness. I am moving to enlightenment, wisdom, and illumination. I am a life long teacher and learner.

I was born a warrior. That is a good thing, because I have fought hard for myself.

I was recovering from physical, sexual…

If you are in a relationships now and you are experiencing abuse of any kind, think twice about the relationship.

There is a phenomenon that is called the Dark Triad.

Narcissism: selfishness, involving a sense of entitlement, a lack of empathy, and a need for admiration

Psychopathy: a personality disorder characterized by persistent antisocial behavior, impaired empathy and remorse, and bold, disinhibited, and egotistical traits.

Machiavellianism: a personality trait which sees a person so focused on their own interests they will manipulate, deceive, and exploit others to achieve their goals. (wikipedia)

If you want to sort out how safe you…

Resilience is critical now. We who are awake and aware of what is happing in our nation are traumatized every day. Any trauma we experienced before today adds to the trauma of today. It is cumulative. And it does not seem to be slowing down.

Remember, whatever your are experiencing, you can handle it. You have the inner strength to make life work under extreme circumstance. Everyone does. It is your birth right. Do not compare yourself with others. Take care of yourself, then you can give to others.

It seems the strengths that build resilience are competence in…

Picture taken of Grandson in his Mask

A few years ago, my family went to a mask workshop. We got to meet a mask maker and see a show where he used all of his masks in a drama.

When I think back on this family time, I remember all of the masks I wore in my lifetime. Some were actual masks because I collect them and wear them sometimes. But many masks were artificial roles I took on as life went by year by year.

As a child, by age two, I was an angry child. I decided if I couldn’t get attention by being good…

I have a magic eight ball

it tells me how to act.

I ask it what I need to do

when I am getting sacked.

“Concentrate and ask again”

it tells me matter-of-fact.

I concentrate so well to see

in hopes it’s not abstract.

I shake the ball now gleefully

and find a message protract.

“Outlook not so good” it says

so I become unpacked.

Just once I’d like a message

that leads me to some key.

“Better not tell you now”

which gives me leave to enact

a sort of squishy belly sense

So I make a Suicide pact.

Marie Louise Bosin, MA, LMFT

Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, AAMFT Supervisor, writer, artist, musician, spiritual muse.

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